Whack Job

#10

Matthew 10:32-34 “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

Well, I just got whacked. Not Mafia style whacked, I am not writing this from a trunk of a car as we speak, typing with my head in a vice or swimming with the fishes as I blog. I just got whacked by God. It was like he said to me “I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.” - “Either put your life on the line or don’t bother writing anymore.”  You may be wondering what I mean by putting my life on the line.

I have to be straight up here and totally honest with myself. I can lead a double life sometimes. I find it easy to portray myself the way I want to or the way I think people would like.  I find it easy to blend in, to make people like me and to just go with the flow. It’s also very easy to write this blog knowing my church friends and people might appreciate it, but it’s another thing completely to consider all my friends, my co-workers and acquaintances may be reading this as well. Will they read this now and think “Who is this Kevin?” “Where did the normal Kevin we see and talk with everyday go?”

I have to be honest with myself again and ask some tough questions; Am I ashamed of the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus Christ? Or am I just ashamed of how I have carried myself, the conversations I have had, the jokes I have made, the gossip I have been involved in and the attitudes I can have? – It’s the latter. I am not ashamed of Jesus and his Good News, people know what I believe, but do my actions portray my belief at all?

Only two days ago I wrote: “If you don’t live it, you don’t believe it”  - WHACK!!

To put my life on the line today, tonight, this week, and right now I need to open myself up to the chance to be criticized, to be called two faced, to be seen as un-authentic and to maybe lose some respect in people’s eyes. I need to own up to the fact that I am not the most shining example of what a Christian should look and act like.  I need to repent of that and make changes, but also, I want to passionately wait and hang on to Gods truth fro me today:

Matthew 10:39 “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

There is hope in this verse for me. It’s a promise from God that he will be faithful to me, show me my real identity and give me a true purpose for my life.

So, tonight, and from now on, all my blog postings will go directly on my Facebook wall, where all my friends, co-workers and acquaintances can find it. No more hoping that just my church friends will read along. I may be found wanting in the looking and acting like a good Christian department, but I don’t want to hold on to my life or my pride anymore. I want to lay it down at the Cross and let God continue to change me, use me and mould me, warts and all. I want to be authentic, even if what I see in the mirror, I am not proud of yet....

“Lord, forgive me once again for holding on to my life and my pride. The silly thing is that it’s not even worth hanging on to. Lord change me, I want to be the same man at work, at play, at home and at church. Give me the courage to stand for you, the ability to say I am sorry, the humility to be able to own up to my shortcomings and mistakes. May I also humbly and thankfully accept your Grace – Which is you working inside me and changing me. Lord you love me just the way I am but you refuse to leave me this way”